Grace That Cost Everything/ Making it Right
Message Listening Guide
Guiding Question: Is it worth trying to repair what's broken, whether you were the one wronged or the one who did the wrong?
Reconciliation takes two (2 Corinthians 5:18-20)
Forgiveness is something you can do by yourself, but reconciliation is a restored relationship, and that takes both people working through a process. God reconciled us to himself, and then handed us that same work.
Apply: Ask God to show you one relationship that needs repair.
Someone has to go first, and it should be you (Matthew 5:23-24; 18:15)
If someone sins against you, Jesus says go. If you remember that someone has something against you, Jesus says stop in the middle of worship and go. None of us gets to sit and wait for the other person to move first.
Apply: If God went first with us, we can go first with them.
Confession says the same thing God says (1 John 1:9)
To confess literally means to say the same thing, to agree with God about what happened and how wrong it was. If you did the wrong, your job is to admit all of it, with no "if" and no “but." If you were wronged, your job is to name the harm in full, because forgiveness never minimizes what happened.
Apply: Say the whole thing plainly, without softening it or defending yourself.
Restitution repairs what it can (Luke 19:1-10)
The one who was wronged surrenders their right to be paid back, but the one who did the wrong should offer to repay whatever possible. When Jesus welcomed Zacchaeus, Zacchaeus turned around and offered four times what he had taken.
Apply: If you owe something you can still pay, offer it before you're asked.
Trust rebuilds slowly, so look for fruit (2 Corinthians 7:11)
When Joseph's brothers came to him, he tested them before he revealed himself, and it took time. Deep wounds heal slowly and trust is rebuilt one brick at a time, so don't mistake a slow process for a stalled one.
Apply: Be patient with the process, and watch for fruit that lasts rather than words that feel good.
The Point: A repaired relationship might be the loudest sermon you ever preach.
Connection Group Conversation Guide
Making it Right (Forgiveness part 3)
Get-to-know-you Question: Share your name with the group and the answer to the question: What is a chore you secretly enjoy doing?
Prayer: Update prayer requests and begin your time together in prayer.
Review: In Sunday's message we finished our series on forgiveness by looking at the other half of the story: reconciliation. Forgiveness is something you can do on your own, but reconciliation is a restored relationship, and that takes both people. We walked through what that actually requires: somebody going first, confession that agrees with God about what happened, making right what can still be made right, and patience while trust rebuilds slowly. The main point was: a repaired relationship might be the loudest sermon you ever preach.
Opening Question: Think of a time somebody apologized to you and it actually landed. What was it about that apology that made it feel real?
Read: Have someone read 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 aloud to the group.
Discuss: Paul calls us ambassadors. In the ancient world an ambassador didn't just carry a message, they stood in for the king himself and spoke with his authority. How does that change the way you hear "we are ambassadors for Christ"?
Discuss: Jesus says go if someone sinned against you (Matthew 18:15), and he says go if someone has something against you (Matthew 5:23-24). Why do you think he puts the responsibility to move on both people, and which of those two feels harder to you?
Discuss: "I'm sorry if you were hurt" isn't a confession, it's a negotiation. Why do you think we have the tendency to hedge when we apologize?
Discuss: Joseph tested his brothers before he revealed himself. How do you tell the difference between someone who feels bad and someone who has really changed?
Discuss: Where in your life right now is there a relationship that needs repair, and what would going first look like this week? And if the other person isn't willing, what does "as far as it depends on you" look like instead?
Pray: Close by asking God for the courage to go first with someone this week, and for peace for those whose person may never be willing to come back.